I read a quote this morning — “Be afraid. Do it anyway.”
I read it while I was sitting and trying to figure out what tasks to focus my energy on as we make final preparations for our time abroad on the “World Citizen Project.”
I can now count down the days to departure on my fingers.
Even with everything fast approaching, I’ve been having a hard time getting myself to a place of calm that will actually allow me to accomplish anything. You know when you have so much to do you end up staring at the wall instead? Yup! Haha, that has been my vibe.
Over the past few days I’ve been faced with a LOT of anxiety, and honestly, a lot of fear.
Fear has been hanging out with me for a few months.
- Considering how I would feel if this plan completely fell apart — FEAR.
- Resigning from my steady, high-ranking, well paid and respected position — FEAR.
- Discussing a period of leave with Luke’s work — FEAR.
- Explaining our choices to our families — FEAR.
- Financially investing in this idea — FEAR.
- Thinking about what the hell I want to do when we get back — FEAR.
- Leaving my sweet cat and hoping she’ll forgive me, even knowing she’ll be well cared for by our loving family — FEAR.
FEAR FEAR FEAR FEAR FEAR FEAR FEAR FEAR FEAR FEAR
For me, the discomfort from lingering fear has become a familiar companion.
I’ve been able to handle fear in a very direct way up until this point — make a CHOICE, take an ACTION, acknowledge the options that come back based on those choices, and react accordingly.
But this fear I am feeling right now is different than the fears I listed above.
It’s like this … I have this huge dream sitting in a box on my front doorstep. It’s a box that Luke and I have personally wrapped up with nice shiny paper and ribbons and a big handful of glitter on top …. but it’s also a mysterious box, and no matter how much preparation I do, I have no idea what the hell is inside.
THAT is the fear.
This is definitely not a fear of my choices.
This a fear of the unknown.
It feels VASTLY different than the very specific fears I’ve been dealing with as we made the decisions that have led us here.
I am realizing that there is not much I can do about this fear.
I’m also realizing that I can be okay with that.
I feel like this is a lesson from our experience, and we haven’t even left yet.
Fear of the unknown is crazy uncomfortable, and it’s one of the BIGGEST hurdles to moving into living the adventure of your life from a place of passion and curiosity and wonder.
“Be afraid. Do it anyway.”
We have to accept fear as a companion on our journey. This is how we grow.
So, I’m not going to distract myself from it today.
Hey there fear. I see you, I feel you, and yes… I can accept you.
Please be nice to me. 🙂
That’s all for today, friends. Departure is coming up soon!